Not just another Sunday

First, I would like to say that the weekend is never long enough. Two days is one too short in my eyes. I love weekends. It means spending time catching up on stuff I procrastinated from doing all week long, and of course, it means spending time with my honey.

I learned something new and exciting yesterday... I learned how to shoot a gun! Now some of you must be thinking, why in the world did you do that? Why would you want to know how to shoot a gun? I do not have an answer to that. I always imagined myself doing it, but when it was coming to fruition, I was nervous beyond all sense of nervousness. Me stomach was upset, and deep in the deepest of belly disorders, i found myself having IBS aches. I thought and thought, no, you don't want to do that and then i would remind myself that yes, yes you do want to try that and then back and forth and back and forth. Well, my sweetheart wasn't going to talk me out of it. The most he could do was be there...and he was. and he was the greatest teacher in the world. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there with me. Getting over the fear is the first thing. Well, that isn't easy...at all. and i think it is a good thing to always FEAR guns. BUT know something about them so you're not irresponsible when handling one. the cold heaviness about it was intimidating. At first i thought, no, nevermind...and then when i watched Ted, i mentally prepared myself to at least try. (Holy crap, baby, you're hot!)

OK, i don't expect most of my friends to understand the feeling that i had yesterday when i took a 9mm, aimed it at a target and slowly pulled the trigger. It was empowering. The adrenaline rush was extraordinary. There you are standing still and your heart is racing and your hands are shaking and you are perspiring like you just ran around the block. Wowweeee! it's FUN! it's a lot more fun than i would have ever imagined it to be. i couldn't wait to do it again....and again, and have better aim...

I'm sure some of you are laughing..and thinking boy oh boy, she is turning into a hick. it isn't like that at all, never fear...you can take the girl out of the city, but not the city out of the girl. then you can take the girl back to the city to go shopping. hahahahaha!

I can't wait to go again. i can't wait to try a different gun. i can't wait to know how to aim better.

:-)

I don't seem to get much done when I get home from work. On the drive home, which takes about 50 minutes, i get all these ideas in my head and then once i walk in the door, it's like they get trapped in the space/time-continuum (whatever that's called). it's like in the shower in the morning...all these things go through my head of what i need to get done in a day...and then as soon as the water is turned off...so is my memory. i make these statements of things I need to do here on my blog postings but i don't hardly remember to check my blog once i am home either. Not enough hours in a day.

So today, a girl who works at our home office in Ohio calls me to tell me how she was explaining to her three year old what her day was like (only bc she was asked) and happened to mention, that she did a little training with (other paralegals) Hillary, Pam.....and then her daughter stopped her in her tracks and said, i don't like Pam. and what's a Hillary? Hmmm...i said, it's a good thing you didn't call me to tell me this yesterday. i was liable to break down in tears. today, altho it is still unsettling I am able to rationalize that this is just a 3 yr old who doesn't even know what a different state is, let alone a person in another state. why would she not like me? it boggles my mind, the things kids say. while funny, it is still unsettling. i guess it would be more so if i had actually met the girl...then i asked, WAIT - what have you said about me to her? i thought i was your star pupil? apparently she has no idea where she picked that up...yeah....now i'm worried.

need coffee...

yummmm, coffee

I LOVE coffee! I love a good cup o' joe in the morning....I love the smell of it, the taste of it, even the thought of it even before it touches my lips. I don't get to frequent Starbucks as much as I did while living in Denver. Starbucks was in the building where I worked. I allocated 10% of my earnings to them - automatic deductions taken right from my paycheck. (hhahahahha) really, that would've been less painful than giving up $4.50/day on some fru-fru drink just to tide me over to lunch time....when I would contemplate a second helping of $4.50 fru-fru. Let's say I'm saving money...and quite frankly, the regular brew at Starbucks is bitter and not-so-yummy. It's when you throw in all the other crap (and then kid yourself by making it non-fat, sugar-free, half caf, breve, latte, macchiato, grande blah blah) (**note, spellcheck doesn't even recognize these fancy coffee terms**) that makes it really turn out delicious but not-so-good for you. SO - in the absence of Starbucks and the willingness to save money, you find a brew to make at home....one that makes you jump outta bed just to make it. Ok, so it's not like every day is my birthday, but coffee is a very good incentive to get up, for me at least. I've just babbled on about coffee....I think mainly because i WENT to Starbucks today...and I had it once last week....which was making me remember how much money I have given to the franchise. damn them. they are in cahoots with McDonald's and putting crack (or something far worse:)) in their product...why do you think you crave those french fries after you had one helping. just say no to fries and fru-fru coffee drinks.

and the coffee wears off....NOW...

Ok, so I'm still not working out again YET. I think about it, which is one step closer to the gym. I want a rock hard body without effort. ok, sure...and why don't you just take this ten million dollars while you're at it. keep dreaming. i used to work HARD to stay in shape. this aging thing is for the birds. i find myself tired all the time. but that's a catch-22 bc i'm only tired bc i'm not very active.

I'm counting the days until Gwen visits. Now, if she doesn't get to, I will cry. (well, i'll be pretty sad) because i find myself going in and out, up and down, round and round the the thought of all my friends being in different states. you guys need to all move east. and close to me. :-) that's not asking too much, is it?

pictures. i used to email everyone a ton of pictures all the time. I think i need more pics of Ted and I. I would love to have more pics of us. I love black and whites, and the sepia ones - very cool. I find myself always sending pics but never getting them...people always say, yeah - i'll send you those pictures from that time we went cliff diving (ok, not really) and then i never get them. I LOVE pictures - i think bc it's how i capture memories...and my memory doesn't work so well so i need all the help i can get. not to mention i love to hang them up all over. i love pictures, i love memories. send more pictures!

Alrighty, well at some point I will teach myself how to include pictures on this blog. Jenny does it all the time and I think it's pretty cute! I'll take some more pics of Ted & me and good ol PA and post them for you all to see...so stay tuned!

Ok, so no fasting took place. I found that my body is fighting a bug right now and Ted felt it would be in my best interest not to deprive my body of anything at the present time. Instead, I loaded up on vitamin C this weekend and found today to believe that i am nipping whatever it is, in the bud. woo hoo!

Not that i want to talk about another weekend already, when it is only Monday, but i am excited to try cooking some Irish yummies for St. Paddy's Day. This holiday never really meant much to me before....but my honey is the O'lucky one so it is much more exciting!! i decided to make some Irish food on Saturday - nothing overly foul (like some typical Irish food can be). Breakfast will include fried wonders from Ireland such as; rashers of bacon (let this be the only time since Le Peep that i have ever seen the word rasher), maybe sausage, fried tomatoes, fried mushrooms, fried eggs, fried soda bread (minus the caraway seeds) and fried potato furls. The day may be filled with Guinness until dinner is served which consists of Corned beef and cabbage, and quite possibly some potatoes. i think maybe i should fast all week....in order to eat on Saturday. definitely does NOT sound low fat.

Not to beat a dead horse, but it seems to be taking a little while longer than i thought it would to clean out Nan D.'s house. We picked up the furniture that I wanted this weekend, and now, I see no cause for a return to her house. The house, at this point, is empty, empty of furniture, empty of love, empty of any concern for anyone other than a new owner. it's like taking years and years of memories and tucking them away in storage; making sure not to stack anything on top of them so that you can get to them later - just not having time to deal with them now. It's hard. Not only is it hard for me, the granddaughter, but it is difficult for my mom. Mom bitches about things when things matter most to her. It's her way. It's a coping technique of hers. i however, have been the chosen one on the receiving end...and no matter how much I want to help my mom get through this difficult time, I also do not want to remember my grandmother in a negative light. Mom should go to therapy. Have a third person, an outsider, listen while she vents...whether truth be told or not..and make her feel like she has every reason to feel what she feels. i cannot offer such solace. I see my mom in a different light. and i find it hard to believe anything she says about my grandmother would be true. drama queen. issues. i suggested therapy. i don't ever see her going. So for now, I have to grin, listen (or pretend) and bare it. for you Nan, you will always be a beautiful, caring, wonderful individual who only knew how to go out of her way to make sure i was always happy.

WHY is it so easy to procrastinate about exercising? I WILL use the treadmill tonight. i WILL!

To fast or not to fast?

I feel the need to cleanse my body. Lately, I feel like I have been carrying around some toxic chemicals that are oozing out from my skin. I've never fasted before...the longest i think i've gone was juice all morning. I've tried it on several occasions, but have failed. I love food. I eat well, but every now and then I just feel like my system is clogged. I feel i cannot think clearly and my mind is scatter-brained. I feel the effects of (bad) food a lot. maybe because i am in tune with my body...i know when something is askew. Dad always said You are what you Eat! I am going to try to muster the motivation to do it. one day. just one. start with one and go from there. i'll do it for lent. :-) ha ha ha.

Ok, so Ted & I have managed to live in a spacious 1440 square foot apartment for almost 6 months...without furniture. Some may say I'm going to extremes with that statement as we have recently added the handsome new folding chairs to go around the wooden dining room table. We can have guests for dinner. So long as they stay at the table. I think about how our place looks and how it drives me absolutely batty to not be able to call a place "home" because i haven't really been able to express my artistic creativity there. When i think of how bothersome this apt is to both of us i try to remind myself that this too, shall pass. Someday, the story of the first place we took residence together will become one to laugh about...only bc we have become so far removed from the situation. but as for now....it makes me giggle...then followed by a sigh. ho-hum. I am getting close to taking pics...as i have mentioned i would do a while ago...but i was waiting for it to become more presentable...now i realize it will never become more presentable and so i will smile at the condition it is in now and again...remind myself it's not forever....that this isn't where we are supposed to stay, but rather, just where we lay our stuff for a little bit.

I think there are more cooties in PA than CO. i was already sick once and now i feel like i am fighting something again. i never got sick this often in CO. then again, there's my memory...and the lack of it so i may be hallucinating.

Have I mentioned lately that I feel like the luckiest girl in the world? For those of you who concern yourselves with my new-found relationship, my hastiness in moving from Colorado to move in with someone I hardly even know...we are doing wonderfully. You would all be very proud (and jealous)! So put your concerns aside and know that this girl is as happy as a pig in sh**. I hear they're pretty damn happy!

rolling right along

Girlie girls, you know who you are....I miss you and think of you often. Colleen, I left a message for you but haven't heard back. Laura, we are both so crazy busy that I'm sure the thought of calling me goes through your head as much as calling you goes through mine. Jenni...thank you for always keeping is such good touch with me, i look forward to your blog comments and emails. Wendi...i know you are probably hibernating with your man. Tracy, you've been awesome - always nice to talk to you. Gwen, there just aren't enough hours in the day, but i hope to see you in Reading soon. Barb, tag you're it! Now if I miss someone i will feel bad but i cannot possibly state something about everyone or i will run right through my lunch break without even peeing.

I can now appreciate down time at the workplace. Alas, I had too much....now I have too little. Time is FLYING by at this new job but I am happy to report that I LOVE IT! It's a little more than i bargained for and i certainly feel i should be paid more money (isn't that always how it goes) but i am thrilled to have landed myself here. It seems that the universe knows my plan and is helping direct me to my destiny. It's funny how things work out...with persistence, you will be on your way. Never ceases to amaze me. Everything works out. No matter how crappy you think you have it, things WILL always get better...if you manifest your destiny. Don't sit around waiting for your destiny to happen. No sireeee - won't come to ya. Life is work. Patience is key.

If you always find yourself wanting more, it just means you are enthusiastic about your own personal development and can't wait to progress to the next obstacle, only to achieve overcoming it. Challenges are what keep your mind sharp...and will help make you a stronger person. Accept challenges, it has been challenges that have made me who i am today. Life is so interesting.

As another weekend approaches, I fill my head with the possibility of completing tasks during two days off from work. Laundry, cleaning the apartment (which doesn't entail too much and Ted helps anyway) taxes, visiting Nanny Erb and Duncan, washing my car, taking more pictures of Ted and me, uploading the CT trip pictures, talking to Denver friends and getting Walden out for some exercise. It always seems though, that not much gets done...bc I procrastinate. And i would much rather hang out with Ted and not think about all the stuff i should be doing.

The OC is over. What is a girl to do? Buy all the seasons on dvd. I'm so bummed....although I am savouring the one last episode we haven't yet watched...the season and ultimate finale of the show...bc i haven't come to terms with it being over forever. NOOOOOO! I'm such an addict. to those of you who never watched, you are truly missing out - shame on you! Think of your favorite show. now think how you would feel after being told it is canceled. yeah, that doesn't feel good, does it?

I want another tattoo. However, I cannot bring myself, at this age to 1. decide what to get or 2. allow myself to spend money on something like that. It was such a great idea and meaningful expense when i was in my 20's. Now, it's more the thought than the actual act, that turns me on. Probably won't ever do it. unless i need some quick fixing after the snakes on my belly deflate from pregnancy. my baby was swallowed by a boa constrictor, a boa constrictor.

I can't stop eating my LifeSavers Fruit Slices. OMG they are delicious. little slices of goodness - is what they should be called. haven't tried them? go get them. If you like anything that is gummy, you will love them. you'll see.

I am having complete random thoughts today bc I am having difficulty focusing. I didn't realize that I would have to become a firefighter when i started working here but it has become apparent to me that I will need to get the proper certification. While our files indeed have a great deal of organization to them, there is a bit to be revisited in terms of communication. At least it's Friday!

Go out and do something wonderful for the one you love!!